🎉
WE’RE BACK IN ACTION BABY!!
I am thrilled. I am on a high and floating in euphoria.
Why is that? Because home girl had sex (sorry fam - I’m sure you didn’t want to know that) and her max heart rate was 82, even with some more ~ vigorous ~ action taking place. Which means I was well below the medical guidance of a max HR of 100 and sex is all cleared as a physical activity!
It is funny, all the little things that get impacted by a chronic disease. At first you only think about the big things: your life span, your quality of life, your future plans that have now been derailed. Then you start realizing all the little things, the day-to-day things, that are impacted too: can I walk up the stairs? Rush to catch the subway? Have sex?!
After the initial shock of the diagnosis and its consequences took place, one of the first questions that popped into mind was whether or not I could have sex. After all sex is a physical activity; it does get your heart rate up. If performing 20 bodyweight squats can get my heart rate up to 100 (yes I’ve been testing my limits and performing my own experiments), then would sex blast that out of the waters? Would I be one of those creepy old fat men television characters (Lady Danbury’s husband comes to mind) who keels over and die during the middle of sex?
Part of the reason why I put myself out there on the dating scene again is because I wanted to test out my heart rate while having sex. The past couple of weeks have been almost like a science experiment, figuring out what gets me at 100bpm, what activities keep me under 100bpm, and what mental states trigger a high HR. I’ve invested in a heart rate monitor arm band (no, I didn’t not whip that out and put it on during sex) and have a smart watch that regularly measures my heart rate. I’m practicing being more attuned to my body and becoming more somatic - understanding, feeling, truly knowing how my body feels when my heart rate is at 80 vs. 100 - what my breath feels like, what my chest feels like, and becoming intimately aware of my body. It’s interesting and fascinating. When I examine the data, I notice that spikes in heart rate tend to be associated with anxious and stressful mental states. my heart rate when walking while stressed will spike up to 110 even 120, causing me to huff in frustration and stop in my tracks to get it down again, whereas my heart rate when walking at a brisk, fast pace with a clear mind will stay in the 80s. Sex is a part of the human experience.
During a follow up appointment my cardiologist was actually the person who broached the topic first. “Many people ask me whether or not they can engage in sexual activity, and I’m telling you that you can, just keep a watch on your herat rate
All of this is also a reminder that my heart is kind of in pretty good shape, despite being predisposed to fail. The medical data, MRI, EKG, and holter monitor results, show that my heart is strong and that’s likely because I have taken it good care of it over the years - my time exercising and taking care of my body proves that and has built a good foundation to work out of. So much so that even if I engage in vigorous sexual intercourse, my heart will still go on.